By Tatyanna Morales
You are madly in love with this man or woman. You want to grow old with your lover, have kids and raise a family. But then the big decision is put out on the table that they want to fight for their country and join the marines. Now your heart starts racing a mile a minute. Excitement, joy and sorrow surge through your veins. Happy for them but how are you supposed to be with someone who is on the other side of the world? To be away from them for so long, anything and everything can happen. Perhaps you already know a MCSM student who is considering a career or just a short stint in the armed forces. Have you discussed all the ramifications of their decision? Below are my thoughts about having a friend who chooses a military lifestyle.
First, show support. Second, be strong. They are going to need you when they are on missions and active. Write letters, be funny and include them in on your life. What happens ,happens; and everything happens for a reason. Be understanding and just be optimistic.
When I first heard that a close friend of mine was joining the marines, my face was calm but my mind was everywhere. How could he decide to do this to me? To leave me? A long 5-6 years of keen friendship down the drain. I shook myself out of this negative trance and started to think rationally. I can do this. I’ll be supportive and help him experience the joy in life before he goes to boot camp in October 2014. Swimming, movies, bowling, fishing, carnivals, you name it. He will have wonderful times to reminisce about us while he is away.
Communication is key. Communication can also be somewhat, hard. Bad or no wi-fi/service makes it quite difficult to reach People in military settings, as well as for them to reach out to you. But you will always have a trusty pen and paper. If you think you can handle your other half being away serving our country, then go for it. Through thick and thin, be their rock. Reading blogs of marine spouses was heart breaking. The obstacles are different when there are different circumstances, like having children. Being at home alone with their (the blogger`s) children makes them feel like a single parent. They have to cook, clean, teach, and be both dad and mom. They must send pictures of important events and stay smiling, even when their spouse couldn’t be there. Writing letters is always on their agenda. Hoping for their safety, if a military spouse is religious then they are also busy praying. Although their Marine has a plethora of duties, so does their other half.
Other people with loved ones in military service are attending college while their partner is away. On top of being supportive, they need to stay out of trouble, achieve as best as possible in their academics and schedule times when they can see each other when possible. Speaking of seeing each other, every spouse wants to have their Marine home. But what happens when they do come home? Sometimes it is difficult to adjust to the change, for both partners. The Marine may feel like they are not needed or wanted in their own home, like an outcast. While the mate left holding down the home front may feel like their returning Marine disrupts the balance that was so hard to achieve while they were away. Eventually, with help from support organizations for Marines or even just talking through your issues, it gets better. Life with a Marine surely isn’t easy, but if you approach it with intelligence and compassion you can get your fairy tale ending.
PS: Think positive. At least you get to see them come home in their dashing uniform.