By Roberta Nin Feliz
How much love is too much?
I grew up in the ghetto part of the Bronx or the ‘hood. Living in the ‘hood is a constant battle between falling into the ‘hoods embrace or staying on the right path. In my ‘hood, there’s a lot of violence, drug addicts, and old, neglected buildings just waiting to crumble. People die all of the time because they’ve become victims of the violence in the hood and the gang activity is at an all-time high. However, it’s not all negative. I’ve become a part of a family for which I have a lot of love. I’m also thankful for the lessons the ‘hood has taught me and it will always have a special place in my heart, even when I leave. I’ve grown to love my ‘hood and so have the people around me, but how much love is too much?
You have to learn how to adapt to living in the ‘hood. For instance, if I’m walking home late at night, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder in a state of paranoia. Part of this paranoia is because of an incident that occurred in July. I was walking home when I saw some random guy cross the street and quickly walk ahead of me. I was initially suspicious of the guy but when I saw he walked ahead of me, I didn’t pay it much mind. Before I knew it, I looked up and he was flashing me his private part! I was so surprised and scared at the moment that the only thing I could say was “What the f***!” The guy ran away afterwards.
Of course an incident like that can happen anywhere but it was right across the street from my building in broad daylight. It made me really think about the type of neighborhood I’m living in and the people that live around me. If that guy could do something like that during the daytime, I don’t even want to imagine what could’ve happened if it were nighttime. I’m also paranoid at times because of my fear of getting robbed or stabbed. I know that in certain areas I have people that will help me if I need it but I’ve learned that there are no promises in the ‘hood.
I know many people who have fallen down the wrong path and were sucked into worst aspects of the ‘hood. I grew up with many of these people and it sucks to see that now some of them barely go to school. Some of them are in gangs, have been to jail, are always roaming the streets or are too busy partying to care about anything. I think that part of this is because in the process of adapting to the ‘hood; you become a part of it and then it’s hard to get out. They forget that the goal is to have the freedom and ability to get out the ‘hood. These people had really bright futures ahead of them until they let the ‘hood get the best of them. Whenever I see them, I encourage them to stay out of the streets and do well in school but I doubt what I say makes a difference. Like people say: “You can love the ‘hood but it will never love you back.”
The fact that my two little cousins have to grow up in the hood, particularly my seven year-old cousin Christopher, bothers me a lot. Chris is one of the sweetest, most humble kids I know and I`m afraid that the ‘hood might break him. Although he doesn’t know it yet, the ‘hood will toughen him up and teach him a lot of life lessons on the way. I just wish that he could live a carefree childhood where he wouldn’t have to worry about shady people on his block, getting shot, or his dad’s car getting broken into again. I want the best for my little cousins. I try to always encourage them to go to school and do their work so they can grow up to be somebody successful. It fills my heart with joy when Chris tells me how much fun he had at school or what he wants to be when he gets older.
Unless you win the lottery or some other miracle happens, school is the only way out of the ‘hood for kids. This is why I work really hard in school so I can go on and pursue my dreams of being a journalist. Not only that, but I see how hard my parents work in the ‘hood and I hope to be able to give back to them when I get older. Succumbing to the ‘hood is tempting at times but I know better than that. My advice to kids living in the’ hood is this: You have to rise above it and stay in school. How many times do we hear about kids in the ‘hood going on to be successful people with well-paying jobs and not just work minimum wage their whole lives? Certainly not enough. You don’t want to become another statistic. Although the odds are stacked against you, you can and will prevail if you put your mind to it. Remember, the ‘hood never loved anyone…