By Yeritza Mejia
Hi Rams! I did this interview because some teenagers believe that they know everything about love when in fact we don’t know much about it! Also, some of us may wonder, ‘How does it feel to be married? How is a “good” marriage supposed to feel? And what is the relationship like between the couple?’
I don’t know about you, but these are questions that I’ve always had on my mind because, to be realistic, we’re surrounded by marriages without love. My mother was married 3 times and found out that none of them were based on love. Maybe because of these past experiences I’ve observed, I have always wondered what a love-based marriage is like. So I came up with this idea: to investigate a marriage that came about because of love.
My first choice was my older brother`s marriage. They look so happy together and I love his wife (my sister -in -law); I know that she is perfect for him. I interviewed Nivone, his wife, because I knew that she would be more open with her feelings compared to my brother. Also when interviewing Nivone, I got answers to questions that my brother wouldn’t respond to, such as if he has ever cried because of love. The belief that “men don’t cry”, is a “policy” that is a tradition in my family. At the end of the interview I realized two things: first is that Nivone chose a great man for herself, and second is that my brother is a very lucky man.
1. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word “love”?
My marriage.
2. What’s love to you? Can you describe it?
When that special person accepts you the way you are, loves your imperfections and stands with you through everything.
3. Define love in one word.
Happiness.
4. How did love change your life?
A lot. It’s like having a “third hand” that helps me in everything, but it comes with its obstacles.
5. How did you first meet? What was the feeling?
At a baby shower, through a friend.
We had a connection as soon as we looked at each other but the real chemistry began when we first spoke to each other. He “trapped” me with his way of thinking.
6. How did you know that he was the one?
When I told him about my struggles and problems, he didn’t seem to mind or look at me differently.
7. Were there obstacles to your love, which ones? How did you get over them?
We went through similar challenges but through it all, we supported each other.
8. What do you admire the most about your husband?
His sweet and humble heart.
9. Have you ever questioned if that person really loves you?
YES, I think everyone does, or will, sometime in their life.
10. Who made the first move?
He did. He kissed me and I kept kissing him. It was a good kiss!
11. Do you worry that someday you’ll wake up and that special person has left you without any reason? How would you feel?
Yes, it has happened. Every day before he goes to work he kisses me and lets me know that he’s leaving. But one day he didn’t do it because he was running late. When I woke up and didn’t see him, I was scared, upset and worried.
12. Can you tell how your partner is feeling just by looking in his eyes, kissing him, hearing him talk, etc.? Why?
Yes, eventually when you’re with one person, you learn to understand and know his habits along with his routine.
13. Has your partner ever gotten jealous over you? When? How did you feel?
Yes, one day when I complemented his cousin. It was kind of fun to listen to his jealous rants.
14. Is your husband your first love? If not what did you do to forget the other ones? What did you do to get rid of the feelings?
No, it was too much work to look back on old relationships. I realized that those boys and I have broken up for good. Also I think about the negative aspects, like the fact that they’ve cheated on me
15. Have you always been honest with your husband the whole time that you have been together? If not, when and why?
Yes, I hope that if I’m honest our marriage will be good and have a good foundation of trust.
16. How do you feel when you’re close to your husband?
Protected, relaxed, happy.
17. Have you ever feared that person does not feel the same way you do?
No, he shows me a lot of love.
18. Did you follow your heart or your head? Why?
My heart, because I have faith that my heart will make the right choice.
19. Have you ever felt like walking away from a problem without trying to solve it? Why?
Yes, I thought that I wasn’t strong enough to go through it.
20. Have you ever found a reason to leave your husband? If so, what was it? If you didn’t leave, what stopped you from leaving?
Yes, I got very mad and wasn’t thinking correctly but I decided to follow my heart.
21. How does he show you that he really loves you?
He worries about me, checks on me to see if I’m okay or need something.
22. Have you ever cried because of love? To whom? Why?
Yes, my ex -boyfriend Christian, because he cheated on me and was very immature.
23. If your partner tells you right now that he doesn’t love you any more, what would you do? Why?
Talk about it, but eventually just walk away if there isn’t a possibility that things will get fixed.
24. Imagine that your partner didn’t love you? Would you keep trying to get his love again, or just walk away and try to find a new person to love?
I’d try to get it back but I won’t try forever. So eventually I’d leave him but would continue worrying and thinking about him.
25. Have you ever wondered if you really know that person? If you do, when and why?
No, I know him well and I’m always paying a lot of attention to him.
26. Have you ever been disappointed in that person? If so when and why?
Yes, when he didn’t believe in himself
27. What did you do to obtain the love of your husband?
By being a good woman, being interesting, and telling him and showing him that I LOVE him.
28. Has your husband ever failed you?
No, I know that I can trust him.
29. Did your husband stand by your side while you went through problems?
Yes, we worked hard. He motivated me and we stood by each other.
30. What you think about this interview? Did it help you realize anything? I like it, it was good and helped me realize that I’m a lucky woman because he’s a good man and I have him. Also it helps me realize how wonderful he is with me.