Dear XYZ: How do I tell my parents that I don’t want to go to college?


Dear XYZ, How do I tell my parents I don’t want to go to college?

X Says: Before you tell your parents that you don’t want to attend college, you must determine goals for yourself to replace going to college. This way, your parents will be reassured that you do, in fact, have aspirations and hopes to make something of yourself some day. Once you have figured this out, sit down with your parents and explain to them your reasons for not wanting to go to college, and why the decision you have made is best for you. Have confidence in your answers during this talk with your parents, but be open to hearing their thoughts about your choice, and take their opinions into consideration.

Y Says: Be straight up with your parents. tell your parents like it is. After all, it is your life and not theirs.  You tell them by talking to them politely and explaining exactly why you don’t want to go. Besides, to be honest, there’s a saying out there that says “school isn’t for everyone”, and that’s completely true. Your parents would rather know beforehand that you’re not attending college than to continuously ask you questions like: “Are you taking your SATs?” or “Have you started applying for school?”  The quicker you tell them the better.

Z Says: The type of parents you have will usually determine how you start the conversation. Initially, begin the talk by expressing how you feel about school and how much it discourages you.  Then you can introduce your main intention. Telling your parents you don’t want to attend college may seem scary, but if you don’t want to go, it must be discussed. When you tell them you don’t want to go, you must also tell them your back-up plan.

Dear XYZ, My girlfriend went away to college. Is it worth trying to keep the long-distance relationship going?

X Says: Throughout every relationship, it is necessary to encounter conflicts that can “make or break” your relationship. Consider this a test of strength for the two of you. If your relationship is strong enough to withstand her being away at college, then it must be worth keeping that bond. Both you and your girlfriend must be willing to make an extra effort to maintain the relationship. Although it can be stressful when your significant other is not as near as they once were, this can be a great motivating factor to strengthen the relationship.

Y Says: If the love is real, then her going away should mean nothing. Although many people don’t really believe in long-distance relationships, it can still be possible. Think about the arguments you guys have had while she was here–did she communicate well and fight for the relationship, regardless of how hard the situation was? Or did she just suck her teeth and walk away and waited until you came after her? If she did, that means she’s not at all afraid to turn her back on you.  If she can do that when you’re right in front of her, then she can do it when you’re not. Think about it.

Z Says: The question is: how much do you love her? When you’re not in her presence, is she the only individual you think of and want to be next to? Going into the relationship, you must have had an idea that this time would come, but you continue to be her man.  This means you care for her to the point where you’re willing to endure this process. If you’re having this doubt now, what you need to do is discuss it with her immediately before things get out of hand. Being open and honest about the situation with her will allow both of you to make the right decision.

Dear XYZ, how do I deal with abuse?

X Says: Abuse is simply not something you should deal with. You must know abuse is never okay and it is a situation you must leave immediately. In order to remove yourself from abuse, the first step is to have zero contact with the abuser. There are different types of abuse including emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and so on. Every last one of these types of abuse is critical to your health one way or another. It is important to speak to a trusted adult, counselor, or friend about the issue to get immediate help. If you would prefer confidential help, call 1-800-799-7233 to speak to someone about the issue.

Y Says: You must seek out someone with whom you can talk about your situation. It is very important that you try to tell someone you can confide in about what is happening. The main thing is to never keep it inside, always speak about it, and if possible, avoid it.

Z says: Truth be told, this is a situation that cannot be solved in an advice column like this. You need to address it with an adult who specializes in these types of cases or go to RAPP.


Dear XYZ, How do you get a boy to like you back?

X Says: To get someone to like you, your best bet is to be yourself! Although you have probably heard that a thousand times, being yourself is truly the most efficient way of getting a guy to like you. It is better to have someone like you for who you really are rather than for who you may pretend to be. Hang around your friend more often and take interest in the things he likes. Do not ever change your appearance or character to get a boy to like you! Keep calm and have conversations with him so you can get to know each other more, so he can see how awesome you really are.

Y Says: To get a boy to like you, you don’t change anything about yourself. At the end of the day, you do what you do, you dress how you dress, and you walk how you walk. If the guy you like doesn’t like that, don’t forget that he isn’t the only one out there!  Even if for the moment it may seem like he is the only guy in the world for you.

Z Says: Getting someone to like you back isn’t always easy. You must be your genuine self if you are aware that they are fond of you. Eventually it will work out if it’s supposed to. Often the main issue for a female is will the boy use your attraction to him as a tool to control you? In situations like this, you have to be mindful that this may happen, and you have to be ready to leave if it happens like that.