By Fiona Valdez
What are neopronouns?
According to mypronouns.org, neopronouns are: “pronoun sets developed from the 20th century (or sometimes 19th century) to today.” Neo simply means new. There are different types of neopronouns including “nounself” pronouns and pronouns using words from other languages. Neopronouns are gender neutral and are used to replace she/her, he/him, and they/them. Popular examples of neopronouns are it/its, ze/hir, ey/em, xe/xem, and ve/ver. However, recently a new type of neopronoun has emerged and become very popular among young people. These are nounself pronouns, nouns being used as pronouns. Examples of nounself pronouns are bug/bugself, star/starself, cat/catself, and rose/roseself.
Before judging these pronouns, please hear me out! There are many reasons as to why someone would use neopronouns and nounself pronouns. Once you learn about them, they’re fairly easy to implement in your life and easy to use.
Who uses neopronouns?
The people who use neopronouns the most are transgender and neurodivergent people. Transgender people are people who identify as a gender other than the one they were born/assigned to at birth. Non-binary individuals (people who identify as a gender that isn’t just male or female) are also included. Neurodivergent people are people with neurological disorders such as autism, tourettes, ADHD, etc.. Neurological disorders are not the same as mental illnesses. Having mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety does not automatically mean you are neurodivergent. With that being said, you don’t have to be transgender or neurodivergent to use neopronouns. Cis and questioning people can also use and experiment with them.
Why do people use neopronouns?
People use neopronouns to express their gender, to experience gender euphoria, and to be more comfortable with themselves. Pronouns are used a lot, especially online, and people can feel bad about themselves if they are referred to in ways that don’t reflect their true identity.
A more scientific reason as to why people use neopronouns is because of gender euphoria and certain psychological/neurological symptoms that occur when someone associates a word with their gender. Using that word as a pronoun will give them gender euphoria. Gender euphoria is the feeling of comfort, joy, and happiness someone gets when expressing their true gender (and is mostly experienced by transgender people).
How are neopronouns used?
Neopronouns are used very similarly to she/her, he/him, and they/them. Some neopronouns may be irregular, but they are only a quick Google search away. Here is a demonstration on how to use ze/hir: Ze sneezed. I called hir. Hir hair shined. That is hirs. Ze loves hirself. Here is a demonstration on how to use nounself pronouns such as bug/bugself: I called bug. Bugs hair shined. That is bugs. Bugs loves bugself. A strategy to help use nounself pronouns is to replace the noun being used with pronouns you are already familiar with such as she/her and he/him. Some websites to use if you’re stuck on how to use them, or if you want to practice using them, are pronouny.xyz and https://pronouns.minus18.org.au/.
Why should I use others’ neopronouns?
Neopronouns are not an idea generated by random communications on the internet between young adults or teenagers, but even if they were, they should still be respected and heard out. They are legitimate and valid pronouns. Thon/thonself pronouns were created in 1884, while e/em pronouns were created in 1890. Neopronouns in general are not as new as people may think. Also, respecting someone’s pronouns is the bare minimum of courtesy; one shouldn’t go out of their way to invalidate, upset, and disrespect anyone else.
Which neopronouns are acceptable?
Neopronouns, especially nounself pronouns, can technically be any noun that exists. This does not mean that they are acceptable or valid pronouns! Words and nouns that should not be used as pronouns are slurs, religious words, sexual words, political movements, and the names of fictional or real people. Examples of unacceptable pronouns are BLM/BLMself (created by a troll), ACAB/ACABself (created by a troll), Allah/Allahself, faer/faerself, Mary/Maryself, and Deku/Dekuself. Sexual and suggestive nounself pronouns make people uncomfortable for good reason, and some people may react badly to them because they’ve experienced sexual trauma. This is the reason why some people will not be comfortable using kitten/kittenself pronouns even if they were just intended to be animal related pronouns. Same thing goes for other sensitive words such as gore/goreself, vomit/vomitself, blood/bloodself, etc.. Not everyone will be able to use all pronouns, depending on their mental health.
There is a small majority of neopronoun users and a lot of trolls online creating unacceptable pronouns, this does not mean that all users are this way and condone these pronouns.
Common Arguments Against Neopronouns
“They make me uncomfortable so I’m not going to use them…”
Neopronoun users do not choose pronouns just to make others mad and upset, they choose them so they can be themselves and feel good about themselves. Many things make people uncomfortable, however one person doesn’t speak for an entire community. A person shouldn’t stop using their preferred pronouns because one person doesn’t like them. Think about it this way, if you are uncomfortable using neopronouns, imagine how users feel when getting disrespect and hate online. I understand some people may have trauma related to some nounself pronouns, but if you are not being seriously affected by them, what is stopping you from using them?
“I’m only using she/her, he/him, and they/them, those are the limit…”
No one will force you to use neopronouns. However, not doing the bare minimum to show consideration for someone, or a whole community of people, does not make you a good person. If you are not willing to respect someone else’s pronouns because you find it inconvenient to change your ways, why should people respect yours? Do to others as you would like to be treated in return.
“They make the transgender community look like a joke…”
The point of being trasngender is to be yourself. The only reason someone would make this argument is because they want cisgender approval or want to approve/judge what others can do. The trans community wasn’t created and isn’t going to change for cisgender people. Trans discourse is of no concern to cisgender people because it doesn’t affect them. A 17 year old online going by rose/roseself isn’t making the community look like a joke. The issue is that people, not even those in their own community, won’t support them.
“Neopronouns are grammatically incorrect…”
Not all neopronouns are grammatically incorrect. When talking about nounself pronouns, going by the book they might be grammatically incorrect because they are technically not fulfilling the role of a pronoun. The role of a pronoun is to replace a noun. Nounself pronouns do not achieve this. However this reason isn’t why disrespecting people is fine. Neopronouns are mostly used online over text. This is usually because the internet is a safer and easier place to communicate. People online already know that not everything they say is grammatically correct or officially recognized in dictionaries/schools. If you won’t use neopronouns because it’s grammatically incorrect, then also keep the same energy for other things. Don’t use the wrong form of there/their/they’re in sentences online, do not say ‘idk’ or ‘gtg,’ and do not be in any other way informal online.
Also, the English grammar we have now isn’t absolutely finalized. It can change over time to meet different needs. It is possible that in the future, nounself pronouns will be recognized as grammatically correct.
“You can’t use neopronouns in languages like Spanish…”
Neopronoun users are aware of this, which is why they only use English when using neopronouns. They do not expect foreign languages to adopt neopronouns.
What can you do to be an ally of neopronoun users?
The only thing you could do to be an ally of neopronoun users is use people’s preferred pronouns (those that are respectable) and to defend them when people bully or disrespect them for having neopronouns. Neopronoun discourse became popular on Tumblr a couple years ago, but sadly not everyone heard of or was involved in neopronoun usage years ago. Neopronoun discourse has risen yet again on Twitter and TikTok, and arguments about their usage are still occurring. Many people online are transphobic, ableist, and disrespectful. They are not willing to change their minds on neopronouns for many reasons (political, religious, etc.). There are also many internet trolls trying to make the community look bad by using unacceptable neopronouns.
The right thing to do in this case is defend those being negatively affected by certain arguments, and provide people with resources they could use to educate themselves on neopronouns, even though they might not use them. The right thing to do is still the right thing to do even if you are not getting through or getting praise. On that note, an important reminder to cishet (cisgender and heterosexual) allies: you should not expect praise from the trans & LGBTQ+ community for being allies, doing the bare minimum, and defending them.
