By Janelle Fernandez
From the distance I see…
My everlasting contentedness with my life and self
The warm fondness of my childhood memories through my adult eyes
Myself achieving the goals I’ve worked towards my entire life
Enough time to do everything I’ve ever wanted and needed to do
The pride and approval I’ve always looked for from others
My favorite food, my favorite show, my favorite book
The gift I’ve always wanted
The knowledge I’ve always longed for
The happy ending I’ve always dreamed of
The feeling of completion, wholeness, and self actualization
When I look closer I see…
My everlasting self-conflict and torture
The cold grip of reality and the present
Failing at everything I’ve ever set out to do
Time slipping away from me as I head closer and closer towards my eternal end
Distaste and hatred in the eyes of others as I walk by
My own hatred and fear consuming me and diminishing my potential
Something I love taken away from me
My flaws, my vulnerability, and my stupidity being exposed to the world
The nightmare I’ve forever feared, but never acknowledged
The feeling of emptiness as the days pass and blend into one another
All I have left to see is if I am farsighted, or nearsighted?
