ADVICE: Ask X, Y, Z . . . (April Edition!)

 

EDITOR’s NOTE:  April is an exciting time for MCSM seniors, and all the paperwork, waiting and hard work have resulted in final college destinations, and proud young men and women are stalking the halls wearing the sweatshirts of the schools they have chosen.  The XYZ  columnists congratulate our graduating seniors, and look forward to meeting the incoming class with their parents at Freshman orientation on May 9th!

Meanwhile, we know plenty of questions and challenges remain for members of our Manhattan Center community.  April and May will be the last online issues of this school year, so send your year-end questions quick as an Easter bunny to ASK X,Y,Z !   Email us at:  mcsmrampage@gmail.com


Q: Why am I always comparing myself to everybody else?  

X Says: Usually, you compare yourself to others because you want to know how well you measure up. If you are doing better than most, you believe you can feel good about yourself. If you think you aren’t as pretty, smart, athletic, or talented as another person, then you might not feel good about yourself. The trouble with such comparisons comes from trying to measure yourself against *other people.* Since everyone is different in their own way, there will always be someone you think is better or worse than you are in some respect. Obsessing over these differences  will only leave you frustrated.

    There may be moments when competing with other people is appropriate, but not just while living your daily life. The first and most important thing you can do to stop comparing yourself to others, is to appreciate yourself.  Remind yourself that nobody is perfect. Instead of always focusing on your negatives (which isn’t really helping your case at all), focus on your positives. It is important to realize that no one is flawless, and nobody is living a painless life. With this in mind, I hope you can escape your negative thoughts, and instead admire your uniqueness!    

Q:: How do I avoid the dangers of high school cliques?  

Y Replies:  Sometimes you might think a group of friends is a “clique,” when it isn’t.  Just because a tight bunch of buddies all share a certain ethnicity or skin color does not mean they are trying to avoid and exclude other kinds of people. So first, don’t always assume that is the case.  Besides, only making friends with people who are just like you is boring!   

 On the other hand, Our teenage years can by lonely. So when choosing friends an insecure person might feel most comfortable choosing people who share the same cultural and family background. Even so, every film, book, or tv show about middle school or high school tends to show the harm that cliques, bullies, and teenage snobs can cause.  It must be really hard to avoid cliquishness since everybody talks about it.  So here are my suggestions:

  1. Make a bigger effort to hang out with a wide variety of people.   Examine yourself.  Do you tend to hold unfair or stereotypical ideas about other people?  If you do, stop it! You need to spend a lot of time with someone as an individual before you even begin to learn who they truly are.
  2. Join diverse clubs and invite other people to join too.  Try new things outside your comfort zone.  Question a club leader if it looks like they are not welcoming a wide variety of members.
  3. But most important:  Respect everyone, and be kind!

 

Q: How do I escape the curse of Senioritis?

Z Responds:  Good question!!  Seniors are usually so tired by spring that it is hard to stay focused on high school work anymore..even final exams! After stressful applications for college and financial aid, we want to relax. Most of us are already thinking of what we’ll be doing next year, whether that’s starting at our dream college, or apprenticing in our dream career.  So what to do?   Prioritize what means most to you about high school. When high school is over, all your friends will scatter, so find ways to spend more time in your favorite classes or clubs, and doing your favorite activities.  

Cheer a sports team to one more victory!  Thank a teacher who has helped you.  And stay busy! You don’t want your last memories of MCSM to be a fog of laziness.  End your high school years on a high note with activities that will make you proud.

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