ADVICE: ASK X,Y,Z—March Edition!

 

Q: Lately, I’ve been receiving compliments from the students in the school. They’re very sweet but I just don’t know how to respond to them; I feel somewhat awkward. How should I act when someone compliments me?

X replies: OMG I was exactly like you when I entered high school. Whenever a teacher complimented me on a piece of work, or a friend would say how nice my handwriting was, I would just reply back with an awkward smile and not make any eye contact. Giving compliments makes other people feel good and makes others want to be around you. In fact, giving compliments is a form of leadership and influence, because people love to be around positive people, and will be more likely to follow your example and listen to your ideas.

     When you receive a compliment, first see if it is deserved. If it isn’t, pass the credit on to someone else. If it is deserved, then simply say, “Thank you.” There is nothing at all wrong with accepting a compliment. Whether you get complimented on a school project, your handwriting or your appearance, that person acknowledges the effort you put into it.  So reply back with a loud and proud “Thank you!”

Q: How do I tell my friend she is in a toxic relationship and she needs to break up with her boyfriend?

Y says: Friendships are very important relationships in a person’s life. When you are someone’s friend, they rely on you to give advice and comfort. As much as you want to tell your friend to break up with her boyfriend, it is not your decision to make. It is your friend’s own decision whether to break up the toxic relationship or not.

     However, you should let your friend know that you have concerns about the relationship. Show them that you care. Tell them what you observe. Don’t just focus on your own opinions. If your friend gets defensive, do not get hurt. Give them some time to think it through, and for them to reach their own conclusions. If their relationship gets abusive, tell them what you see and that you would be on their side. It is important for your friend to know that you are always someone she can talk to. 

Q: I am always very depressed on Sunday afternoon (maybe it’s because I procrastinate on doing homework and start cramming for exams that day). What can I do on a Sunday afternoon to not feel depressed?

Z responds: It’s a Sunday afternoon and you’re cramming most of your homework and studying for so many exams. I would have to admit that I sometimes find myself in this kind of situation as well. If you feel depressed on a Sunday afternoon and don’t have the motivation to even open up your bookbag, here are a few activities I recommend doing:

1. Meditation and breathing exercises. Meditation can help us to eliminate negative thoughts, worries, anxiety, all factors that can prevent our feeling happy. It has been proven that the practice of meditation, carried out on a regular basis, will mitigate the symptoms of stress and anxiety. 

2. Take a bath. Water is so healing. It makes everything else seem insignificant in the moment. The steam, the scent, the sound, and the warmth truly help to calm the mind and rejuvenate the soul. 

3. Write about your thoughts and feelings in a journal. If there are things in your life you’re not ready to talk about with other people, not even those close to you, a journal can become your new best friend. It will definitely become a wonderful source of peace and reflection for your life.

4. Create a relaxation playlist or find a pre-made one online. Listening to music is one of my favorite ways to relax. But you have to find the music that works for you. Play the song, and pay attention to how it makes you feel. You’ll know if it brings up happiness, or relaxation, or tension for you.

5. Close your eyes and rest for five minutes. As easy as it is, it actually helps. We forget that oftentimes, all we need is five minutes to decompress. Closing our eyes eliminates a lot of the unnecessary information that we take in.